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Of course the moment I joined the room, I had a reflexive reaction of saying hi, but immediately realized the intent of the project. At first I felt a bit uneasy in that it seemed a bit voyeuristic, and that I was projecting my gaze onto you. I thought that perhaps this was required in that you were doing the same. But the longer we stared at each other, the more I felt an objectifying effect taking place. I realized by doing this I was seeing less, and unable to read you or connect with you. So, I closed my eyes, to see if I could better understand and connect with your presence on screen. It’s been a very long time since I’ve meditated, and the process was profoundly enlightening. The longer I meditated with my eyes closed, the clearer my mind became. All those thoughts or assumptions buzzing inside my head receded. I began to reconnect to my chakras, and the sense of the gravity that bound my body below me, and the connection I had with the space above me and finally the virtual space we were sharing. I did open my eyes several times, and focused onto the wall in front of me, outside our virtual space but always aware of it, which in turn gave me a sense of the space I occupied in my apartment and space outside on the streets.When I opened my eyes for the last times, you had disconnected which was somewhat disconcerting. I had expected you to just leave the space and the camera would still be on. Overall the experience was quite existential.
John Naccarato